It’s been a while since i posted…again. For the past few months, i have been meditating on the fallen nature of man and the the greatness of God with somewhat of an unhealthy focus on the former.
It’s been a great three months of internship at my home church and i’ve learned a great deal. I turned 26 this year, learned about Luke 6:26 in a practical way when we were accused of a number of unfortunate events in one of the dailies! Fortunately, it was all cleared up but it still stings. I guess we ought to be grateful for such as Christians. I also realised that my ways aren’t always in tandem with the Lord’s because the heart is a lot more corrupt than we realise; that even things such as ministry can be turned by the heart into things we glorify. How have i learned the latter?
In my first service assisting duty, i realised as one of our elders preached, that i had glorified ministry and raised it up over God. Seeing as i had severed ties to the life of the church, i thought upon ‘coming back’ that God could only use me in a church setting and that any other avenue would be my own misguided direction. How wrong i was. God humbled me as i served into realising that ministry had become my idol. That in a desire for the ‘familial’ and a sense of certainty which i failed to realise was informed by a corrupted perspective, God had for a while ceased to be object of my worship and Christian ministry now was. Such realisation can sting especially when you think you’re doing things for God’s glory. But God’s word is like a double edged sword; a blade that can cut and yet save. But it is also God’s intention to have our perspectives changed and to always be on our guard; relying on Him for everything rather than on the gains of our continual renewal.
That same day i realised that God’s intention for me this year is to learn how lead and to employ my creative abilities to disciple and serve people. I think i’m done running from what God has been trying to tell me…that as long as we are in Christ, the guy ushering is just as important as the preacher, accountant, teacher, chef, journalist and pr guy. Because God is not a respecter of persons and instead looks at how we serve not at what we do. Which is why Colossians 3:22-24 has become my theme for my year in Christian ministry.
I must admit that it’s been a bit hard to do as God has been telling me because a lot of what he says doesn’t always make sense and doubt crept in. However, i realise that with every step, faith is crucial. Lately i’ve seen how the discipleship ministry God is calling me to has begun taking shape and how he’s setting me up for it in amazing ways. It’s not going to be all easy-peasy but i’m glad that as always even when my perspective is obscured, that God is with me ordering my steps to the glory of His name.